Welcome!

To begin, the basics about me: My name is Zoe and I am a woman.  I am also an only child, an avid reader, a longtime unpublished writer, a dancer (as a hobby, not professionally), a college graduate, a traveler, a wife and a new mother.  I'm Jewish culturally but not religiously, socially and politically liberal, a big fan of swearing, a huge, dorky movie and television buff, and hopeless at finding things that are right where I left them or where they should be.  I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, went to college in Ohio, moved to San Francisco, and now live in Colorado.  I drive, have two jobs, live in a weird apartment with no air flow, I wish I had the time, energy and money to take dance classes or at least yoga, and I occasionally do arts and crafts projects.  I'm always worrying and have some neurotic tendencies, but I'm happy and I have dreams and plans, and I'm pretty boring in my day-to-day life.

Everything after that is harder to explain.  What do I care about, what I am I passionate about in life?  How do I feel as a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend?  Do I have opinions and thoughts on politics, history, literature, music, pop culture, fashion and trends, the arts?  What are my pet peeves and my favorite things?  What gets me going and what shuts me down?  What are my goals and dreams and wishes, and why do I say I'm boring in my day-to-day life?  I don't really enjoy explaining myself in comparison to everyone else, put myself against other women, wives, mothers, people of my generation, liberals, daughters, writers, and so on.  The last thing I want to do is place myself somewhere on each of the trillions of spectra we have, major ones like political affiliation or sexuality, all the way to tiny ones like vanilla vs chocolate or boxers or briefs.

I've always been very interested in the dynamics of societies, towns, families, friendships, relationships and worlds.  Some of this is because I'm a writer, and I suppose I'm a writer to some extent because of this.  I'm curious and I ask a lot of questions.  I like stories, though I have a tendency to repeat anecdotes when talking to people.  But I'm fascinated by--and a lot of the time, equally frustrated by, horrified by, annoyed by, and confounded by--the assumptions people make about each other, the theories they have, and the subsequent standards and pervasive attitudes.  I always feel inadequate when I'm trying to talk about being a woman in general, or about "women's issues" (body image, birth control, emotions, etc), or tackle more specific topics like a proposed law or book/movie half the country this is empowering and the other half things is sexist.

But then again, I don't believe in neutrality.  If someone could achieve it, I would probably be creeped out.  I believe in telling where I'm coming from, explaining my position, and girding my loins against attacks so that I'll have the brainpower to form passionate but not disrespectful rebuttals.

So let me lay some things out here.  I am not cool, but I'm told I'm not exactly a nerd / dork either, because I'm not tech savvy and I don't play video games.  I don't wear make-up, I almost never like high heels, and I'm not obsessed with purses, but I only know a few women who actually are and I love art, jewelry, scarves and lingerie (which I don't have the money to buy).  I've never dieted but I should definitely start working out to be healthy, and I have all the same hang-ups as everyone else about my looks and my body.  My engagement ring doesn't have any stones in it, precious or otherwise, and I was not a "bridezilla" even if I did have a few moments of hyperventilating.  I love a well-crafted and/or totally awful action movie, gross-out comedy or so-called bromance.  I see rom-coms but I never really like them; I read romance novels and am generally satisfied as long as they're at least a hard R.  I wouldn't know how to flirt if the universe depended on it.  I don't understand women who have melodramatic 'friendships' and am often considered one of the guys, not least because I'm the first one to comment on a great pair of boobs.  I think making fun of fashion is fair game, so long as fat or great for her age don't ever get used.  And my brain can't wrap around how calling someone something YOU consider an insult (fat, gay, going to hell, etc) makes you better in any way.

I think first up will be either a review of Brave or the book I just finished reading, Barefoot Season.  Or a first attempt at writing about what being a working mommy feels like.

Yeah, I think that should get the ball rolling.  Did I inadvertently offend you?  Do you wonder who I think thinks these things?  Do you think these things?  Have I royally misrepresented myself, or do I have a blind spot about myself?  What would you like to hear me talk about or try to explain?

Testing One, Two

Testing one, two.  "Hello there, universe," she said, "are you out there too?"

Wow, I might like this.